Not many of us are brought up to talk easily and openly about how we feel. Even acknowledging feelings and emotions can be difficult. Talking about feelings may make us feel uncomfortable, vulnerable, ashamed, or weak, or may be something we simply don’t know how to do. Yet in counselling, experiencing, articulating and exploring feelings is considered very important. Indeed feelings can form the heart of a therapy session. It can be useful to know why.
Emotional neglect is a topic that is rarely discussed, even by psychologists, and most people would not recognise it as a problem. Emotional neglect is so easily misunderstood because, unlike with emotional or physical abuse that features an identifiable negative action, emotional neglect is actually a lack of action. In short, emotional neglect refers to a person’s failure to respond adequately to another’s emotional needs
Are you aware we all have an inner voice, a kind of internal guide that helps us to make the right choices? Sometimes that inner voice is helpful but sometimes it works against us and actually blocks our happiness by affecting our self-confidence. When the inner voice is critical, harsh, and judgemental, we end up feeling depressed and sometimes shamed. We become anxious and doubt ourselves, focusing on our deficiencies.
Couples disagree, couples argue. Disagreement and conflict is unavoidable in an intimate relationship, where feeling emotionally secure and safe in your relationship is of paramount importance. In conflict, do your pursue your partner to tackle the issues? Or do you naturally withdraw and avoid conflict? Are you a pursuer or a withdrawer?
We often think of having sympathy for another person’s difficulties. However, sympathy is not the most helpful approach in an intimate relationship because it is based on seeing the situation through the filter of your own experience, rather than trying to understand the other person’s unique experience.
A father’s influence on a child’s life begins at birth. New research has shown that fathers have an important and distinctive influence on their children’s well-being and that the presence of a nurturing father figure has an impact on every aspect of a child’s development: emotional, social/behavioural, and even cognitive. Infants just a few months old are known to score more highly on cognitive tests when their fathers are heavily engaged in their care
Some might say there are two kinds of people in our world: givers and takers. From this perspective, people pleasers would appear on the surface to be givers. They seem to have only positive qualities: accommodating, kind, generous, thoughtful, etc. However, pleasing can also be a way to manipulate others in order to win approval, acceptance, safety, stability, and love.
Sometimes, even the most centred and calm parent can find their children’s behaviour challenging. It is hard to know how to react appropriately to a frustrating behaviour, and how to rein it in in a way that will maintain your child’s connection with you and motivate better behaviour next time.
An old children's fable says "sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me". Sadly, this is not true. Nothing is more damaging to self-esteem than being on the receiving end or a victim of emotional abuse. Unlike physical abuse, which occurs in dramatic outbursts, emotional abuse can be more insidious and elusive. In some cases, neither the abuser nor the victim are fully aware it’s happening. Words are potent, and a stinging assault can have lasting impact.